Now i am hurt. Others may have been dealing with some deep issues and did not know how to properly handle it. This is a trite platitude devoid of meaning. First I would like to say that any woman who feel that there is a double standard with this topic, generally has a high count of partners. The first was with a woman who had lost her virginity to her bf not long before we got together. I have a BUNCH to say, but first lets address the wear and tear issue, it obviously has some relevance physically, but I would say it is mostly mentally destructive. There is a double standard and its not going away any time soon. Additionally, male and female sexuality is just different. I understand where you are coming from, but I do not fully agree. Also as I stated, women know that regardless of this article most men will judge them. This shouldnt matter, but you checking cell phones?? My parents argued constantly when I was a child and still do to this day. And some dudes value the experience of a woman who has been around. If you actually have a problem with it, that's one thing. At the end of the day I am grateful for her in my life but it still bothers me every day getting it off my chest and hearing other guys in similar situation really let me see it in another light instead of it sitting in the pit of my stomach and getting rotten. If my friends or people mention hey, that girl your with, my mates have hooked up with her multiple times, shes a bit of a slut. Hope you can shed your toxic/red pill/PUA thoughts and beliefs. Most guys dont want to do that either. If a woman was promiscuous and had sex with numerous men, she was a bad mate choice due to the fact that he may be mistakenly wasting his resources raising another mans child(ren). As sad and hard as it seems its true contraception. It is the fact that you will hold this over someones head forever that I feel could use some rethinking. If you refuse to give a woman a chance because of her past, you might be missing out on a really good woman. Its choices, not mistakes. Beauty fades, parts get old. I know it would be for me. Finally, above all else RESPECT HER!!! If I decide to marry, it will be a woman with confidence, character, and class, and not a slut. Whats cool is having the personal pride, and self-respect to give your body to every man who shows you interest. I swear this world has turned into Sodom and Gomorrah all over again.. In choosing a partner for a relationship, matches up character and values is very important. Only life itself can show you, but you can still choose to continue as is. Must you attempt to state your position by insulting others who do not share your opinion. I never liked hooking up; I just wanted a long-term bf and thought "hooking up" was the way the cool kids did it. Report. By that point, Hucknall had apparently slept with . I agree we should be honest, but when society creates such negative dialogue about women who have taken this route, it makes it harder be open and honest about it. We will not live forever and we are of the flesh. and it goes on. None of those reasons are truly about self respect and strength, or even being an alpha male. To bring YOU back to reality, every PERSON has both sides of the coin, not just men. And realize having sex with a lot of people has its consequence you cant always have your cake and eat it too so **** smart and **** protected. I dont think they should, but they will and that man will never know. Especially when random names pop up, she still associates with them, and 80% of her male friends have been with her. Your point about language is interesting and not one I have considered. And, dude, Im going to say this to you, and then Ill be signing off. Also if we take a spiritual perspective, then let me add that we all live in sin. So it can get tricky in that regard. you know like people. I guess it really doesnt matter. I feel there is a price that is paid for the way you are choosing to approach this issue, but nothing I can say will convince you otherwise. In some round-about way it felt like it broke my heart, I dont really understand why, because past is past right? understand that men careand crafty ones will attempt to figure out so if you been with a lot of people you are NASTY!!! To use the analogy of work, yes, fair comment. last I will say is women can go abt sleeping, its okay if thats What u want As far as Im concerned, he is the only man I can get sexually aroused by. I have actually come I apologize if it seems I am implying that women who enjoy and have had many sex partners are simply victims of abuse. If the number really didnt matter, couples could ask about it and I slept with the majority of these guys between the ages of 18-21 but now that Im in a different place I dont have sex as freely. I saw her the next day and asked why she acts like that toward me, and she said "BECAUSE YOU'RE UGLY". Just that the second one gets paid for it? Agrees. If more women had respect for themselves and abstained from sleeping around there would not be any male sluts running around would there? Speaking of lazy, I have looked over the study which you were apparently too lazy to just hyperlink to yourself after being asked to twice https://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/3600089?uid=3739448&uid=2&uid=3737720&uid=4&sid=21102211994521 and the man is ESTIMATING his own word that the chances of marital dissolution go up for any woman who was not a virgin prior to marrying or cohabitating with her partner. They want to to be with just me and vice versa, I think its because Im that way. 8. Text can be very ambiguous. A lot of men would have a problem respecting and trusting a woman that is currently on or has been on the "hoe stroll" as you call it. If two people are to form a relationship together for life, then honesty and openess is the best policy. had sex with so many people, but then you fall in love and you dont want to It Thank you Jessica : ) and you raise an awesome point. Thanks for your input man I appreciate it, ErmdudeI don't think you are in the best place to be with anyone right now tbh. During this time in my life I was searching for love but going about it in the wrong way. That didnt bother me, because I dont really care. You are correct that you cant do anything about the man before you being bigger but I most certainly believe you can still be better. Your situation is exactly what I want people to understand. esp on the parent side of things. Not just with them, but with you. If I was looking for a Woman, I DO care about her past, and she should care about mines. Women never need to work to get sex. I dont know. There are all kinds of reasons why things happen and who you were at one time doesnt necessarily mean you are the same person now. Denna-nenna-nent-nent-denna-nenna-nenna-nenna-Denna-nenna-nent-nent-denna-nenna-nenna-nenna Ma-Ma-Ma-My Sharona!. I dont think society realizes how many women (and men) have been sexually abused. Shadow Hunter-Is a depressed life worth living. of your own lifestyle before you start handing out nasty questions or comments such as the one above. Unless, an individual has medical issues I dont feel They should When they should love e themselves. Only 2 of them were and the other 13 just encounters. Now, I know you didnt use any of these words. That's what these things do. Is this a JOKE? Ladies need to just respect themselves overall. life. You should have an idea that its not a good look. Press J to jump to the feed. In my opinion that would be the better approach that can produce better results. She was a virgin until 24 and told me she really cared about it, it was important to her she was dating someone of her own culture for a short time, someone she probably trusted and he raped her, the selfish piece of shit raped her, probably if he was patient she would of trusted him enough anyway, so theres no point to do that, I dont get why she went home and her parents blamed her, she went to the police and they laughed at her she said she locked herself in her room for a week and cried, so they decided to put her on anti-depressents, a bunch of different types. Third, women have the power of their womb. Be willing to compromise on some things, and she should be willing to compromise on some things as well. Its difficult. If you So I must be doing something right for her to love me. . I run into more issues with the fact that some women have literally had over 15 boyfriends, and have slept with them all, multiple times even. She doesn't feel that she should have to settle down, and she thinks it's unfair that other women degrade her for this. Sorry but it is a cutoff and a major factor in a potential mate. Granted, I agree it may all come from some traumatic event or maybe an ongoing psychological/sociological issue (ie lack of a father or mother etc) andIn fact, the promiscuous women did suffer from some deepissues. I believe, Hm why is it that a woman can have sex with 50 men and have all of them ejaculate in her and expect possibly only 1 life in the world in a year AND NOT KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS! There are women who have been with one man, and have gotten an STD. Just relax. No but ultimately the man that she winds up with will have to deal with the issues that come about from being with a woman that will, more likely than not, have very different thoughts and views on sex. What do women do in the meantime? I believe the average male has a high sex drive, created to be the leader/pursuer.. As women and men i am very sure we have all made mistakes and hopefully learned from them as well. I dont ever wonder what I missed out on, I know the answer is not much! I started at 18, averaged 2.78 a year. I believe is about decency. He walked away. Modern women are told a lot of strange things, like sex doesn't matter and that men are somewhat entitled to fuck them. If your 30 and you had sex with 45 people, Now a days this is normal as it is hard to find a Virgin Girl as most of them had sex in their 15s or 16s. Yall remember the movie House Party.when Bernie Mac remembered ole boys wife at the dinner table.smh They use to call you jawbones.lmaaaaaaaaaaaaaao nahhhh.Ill pass on all that. But here is what i do care about, how I get treated based on what she has gone through her past. To bring you back to reality, realize that every man has both sides to this coin. and who or what is the judge of what bettering yourself even is? That level of promiscuity speaks to a character defect. You can try to explain Him out of existence all you want. If u need to walk away sometimes and have a breath of fresh air. If a woman has been with multiple men and ashamed to tell the current man in her life, in my opinion that makes her dishonest. All of the real "Studs" that I know in real life have a lot of sexual conquests, but they are now in their late 30's and 40's, alone, and miserable. If I feel an aversion to a female who is interested in me bc I know she has slept around, its totally UP TO ME if I want to give her a chance at all. When we first met, we did the whole discovery thing about each other and kind of asked about our pasts like two weeks into the relationship she mentioned she was with 10 guys or soI said about the same, I have to admit that I typically used that as a way to see if this person is a potential long time mate, same moral values, etc we were in our early twentiesThis woman became my one and only a month into itwhen you know, you just know!6 months into our relationship she tells me she has something to talk about, I say oklet me have it. Im 25 and have been with at least 20 different partners however that number does not define my character. They aremore likely to be the ones that say oh hes just my friend whenher frienddisrespectsher relationship. I personally dont need or want a Relationship, but I also believe that women who dont ask their male partners how many women theyve slept with then they are desperate housewives. No one wants to date or marry a hoe. People rarely change. She is a human being like a man is a human being. Quick history on my So that we, too, can be raised with you on the last day! No one wants to date a girl thats been ran through. Again I am not saying go out there and be loose just addressing your point about the wear and tear. Eh. Yes Linda I agree. Just look at them in the same light. You can continue with your exact same position that speaks against it, but there is a way for people to do that without it coming across so negative towards the other. Stop posting this stupid things. He already feels guilty and deeply regrets disappointing you. So there is a responsibility on both ends. Many of the modern women want to be as promiscuous as they please and then expect men not to judge them for it. Maybe you would feel like you have one over on other people because you have Of course, that was music to my earsbut, I am very realistic and pragmatic. Thanks for sharing! You're a victim of western purity culture, where a woman's value is measured by how few men she'e slept with. Frankly, education and the age of marriage are the biggest predictors of marital stability, not the number of penises a woman has been privy to prior to the marriage. First of all, we human beings need to start doing fuller and more honest self examinations before we point at others. She has been open about her past, but not completely, shes just gives all the ideal answers youd expect if someone didnt want to hurt your feelings. Thats a load of crap! was a bad (abusive) relationship. Tell her your own. I see what you are saying with the correlation, and it does make a lot of sense. So I went out into the world thinking that everyone just wanted to enjoy themselves and be happy but I was so wrong. Thank you very much. I really question the validity of this statement as the divorce rate in blue states (where women marry later, on average) is lower than in red states where the women are more religious and marry earlier. A) Two long-term sex partners, had sex a total of 1000 times. And guess what, people arent always completely open and honest or even aware of who they really are when they are beginning to date someone. Since the discord opened I've talked to a fair few men who are either on this sub or want to talk about this shit one on one. bro be quiet how would you feel if your wife bumped into a ex and got all happy over it? Upon my first penetration with her, i could still tell that she was experienced just from the sheer mechanics of her vagina. And them same niggas see her walking around town with you..smmfh Hell Naw!!! Of what bettering yourself even is to start doing fuller and more honest self examinations before we point others! 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